Today seems like a perfect time to write to my two munchkins; not only have I not done it in far too long, but you both are at ages that I absolutely love right now. I love you all the time, of course, but 6 months and 2 and a half are just way fun. Every day I catch myself saying that I need to remember this and remember that about each one of you, and then the next day is here and you are doing new things and I feel like I’m going to forget it all. And of course, as I sit here, end of the day, Theo’s just been down to sleep (or so I thought, you’re in there talking to yourself very loud) and Evelyn you’ve just gotten up (that 5pm nap that I was hoping would be an early bedtime…yea, not so much), I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast this morning, or if I even ate, much less all the milestones you both are daily conquering. But it’ll come to me, as I write.
Evelyn, I can have actual conversations with you now. You say some really funny things, you definitely keep us laughing. The other day I tweeted an exchange we had in the kitchen: ‘Mom, what are you doing?’ ‘The dishes.’ ‘Wow, cool! Have fun mom!’ You’re at the age where you are not quite a little kid yet, but definitely not a baby. When we go to the playground, I don’t have to follow close behind you like I used to have to do just a few months ago. You can climb and scale and jump all by yourself without giving me a heart attack. But on the flip side, you still wear onesie pajamas and rub your eyes with your entire hand balled up when you’re tired. You love being outside and chasing squirrels. Whenever we go to the park you have no problem making fast friends with whoever will befriend you back. You’ll call the kid ‘hey kid!’ or ‘hey girl/boy!’ and it just makes me laugh. You’re stubborn. Very stubborn. You’re like me when you’re tired, grumpy. You’re into Beyonce and her song “Love on Top” and love to perform it for me, then switch and make me stand up and sing it for you. You love your cousins and your grammy and get super excited when we go see them. Lately you’ve offered to give me kisses for no reasons, and it is the best thing in the world. Oh, and your brother. You just love him to pieces. You’re a bit rough with him at times, but he doesn’t seem to mind for the most part. You’re doing a good job at toughening him up. You love to go in with me when he wakes up from his nap to get him, and you’ll imitate me and my baby voice when I talk to him. We love to call him bubby, and he gets so excited when he sees you. He knows you’re his big sis. I just really love you, and I love the stage of life you’re in. You are so inquisitive, and I think if I were to get inside your head, I’d see that you don’t see any limits. It’s wishful, naive thinking in some senses, because of course we have limits as human beings. But your creativity soars because you truly think anything is possible. I want to think like that. I feel inspired by you and your eyes and how excited they get when we talk about animals and snakes and where their mommies and daddies are. I sometimes wonder how and why we get away from from that as we get older…try not to lose it.
Theo, my little bubby. You are my little boy, my little buddy, the little man who just came into our lives and changed us from a 3 to a 4 in such a great way. Your smile is the greatest, especially when you’ve just woken up from one of your long afternoon naps and then I put you on the floor to stretch out and you back goes into a huge arch. Your arms go up above your head, toes pointed and there it is: that grin. Love. You’re a really content little baby, and so happy most of the time. Like most of us though, you let me know when you’ve had enough. You’re a drool machine right now, I can’t keep up with the amount of bibs you go through. I’m guessing we will be seeing some teeth very soon here, but none yet. I love you at this age because you can sit on the floor, unattended but with lots of pillows in case your noggin brings you down (you cry really hard when it happens, so sad!), and just play with the same toys day in and day out and be so happy. But the best part, you can’t run away from me yet. Makes you a very easy subject to photograph as long as you’re not falling over. You’re soft and squishy and cuddly and just so squeezable right now! The other night I woke up to you calling ‘mamamama!’ in a half sleep. And ever since then you’ve been saying it more and more, and especially when I’m not holding you but you want to be held by me. I really think you know that I am your mama, and it honestly just brought some tears to my eyes, happy tears, knowing that you know that at such a young age. If you can know that, I hope you can know how much you are loved.
I hope you both grow up continuing to love each other. Just look at these pictures of you two. Is this not the best thing ever? I love that you love each other. Don’t stop. It makes your momma happy!
As I wrap this up on the eve of Thanksgiving, I can’t help but reflect and give thanks for you both. You have made my life so much more full than I could have ever thought. My heart loves you, aches for you at the thought of pain to you, misses you now while you sleep and later on when you are grown, wants the absolute best for you…all at the same time. I can’t say it enough because I never want you to doubt it: I love you.