There are days when both of them are down for naps at roughly the same time, and I potentially have a stretch of 2 to 3 hours ahead of me that are completely silent. It’s on those days that I feel like maybe I complain too much about how exhausting the kids are. I mean, at what other job can you take a nap yourself if you wanted to in the middle of the day?! It’s funny how kids view naps with such dread and for adults, they are such an envious thing. Kelly Kapoor chose an hour to nap over an hour to watch TV at work when given the choice on her birthday. Who wouldn’t want the opportunity to spend some quality time in the sack? That’s what she said. I’ll leave it at that.
It’s definitely a gamble though, because unless I fully commit to napping, chances are that as soon as I darken the room a bit and lie down with a half smile on my face, I hear rustling from one of the two buggers. I either need to be productive, or not be productive. Can’t have both. This usually leads to me running around the house like a mad woman while the kids get crankier by the minute trying to appease the neat freak in me that likes to have my jars lined up perfectly and towels hung properly. Because, you know, that stuff HAS to be done for the world to keep spinning. Or, there’s always that scenario where I should be cleaning but choose to leave the dishes in the sink and my legs hairs from shaving in the tub and go straight to the couch. It’s peaceful and warm and I’m actually really excited to be laying down. Except my mind won’t shut off. This is probably the single most annoying thing to occur during nap time. The worst naps are the almost naps. Every fiber in my body is begging my mind to let me sleep. But the more I tell myself to stop thinking the more my mind wanders. I even try to count sheep, which by the way, has never worked for me. None of those stupid mind games do. It only makes me think more. I start picturing sheep, sheep made out of clay because that is how Shaun the Sheep is pictured. Which is a lot like Wallace and Gromit, they must’ve had the same creator. I loved Wallace and Gromit. I just remember them trying to go to the moon because they thought it was made of cheese. That cheese I had yesterday was so good. It was some sort of soft cheese with raspberry bits in it. I literally have been trying to find this cheese for years. I remember my mom serving it once, as in, years ago, and I haven’t stopped thinking about getting that taste again since. I miss my mom. I go home on Thursday! I’m kind of nervous about leaving the kids though…the kids! Damn it if I don’t go to sleep NOW I am going to really regret this nap. Which is turing into an almost nap. And on and on I go.
Finally, finally I can feel myself drifting. I hear the cars below as background noise now, settling me rather than bothering me. I’m in that in between state, which is my favorite. I’m sleepy, but I still have the sense to know I’m about to be asleep fully so I’m really happy about it. The half smile is back. My limbs feel so relaxed and heavy and light all at the same time…
Then, the phone rings.
At least someone had some sleep.