As most mothers probably do, I remember the exact moment I knew without a doubt that I was pregnant with you. It was almost like an out of body experience, as if I was standing in the bedroom looking down the hallway and into the bathroom at my own back as I stared at the test reading what I deep down already knew. I was alone, and getting ready to go to work, which involved days by the pool with Morgan and Alex, the two kids I nannied for that hot summer of 2008. I cried. I cried because I didn’t know what else to do. I cried because I didn’t know what I was going to tell everyone. I cried because your dad and I were not married at the time. I cried because I was scared. But I also cried because, although you came into our lives unexpected, I was deeply happy to be a mother. I cried because I loved you even before I knew you. I also knew your name before I knew you, and even well before I knew you were a girl. I remember sitting on the bed of our Cary apartment, within days of finding out, and writing down Evelyn. I loved it. It just seemed right. And although we threw other options around, we always came back to your name.
Now that I know you, I love you even more. Yes, you are a handful. Some mornings I tell you to just go back to bed because you are so whiny. You are like me in that you are super cranky when you are tired. You still throw fits whenever we leave the park, although I would think you’d have learned that we always come back. You don’t eat your vegetables. If I let you, you’d survive off of a diet of popsicles, cupcakes and maybe the occasional strawberry. But while I do use those things as bargaining chips at times, I don’t let you do that. And that’s because I love you. Handful or not, you’re definitely and always loved. It’s not even that I love you in spite of your flaws, I love you because of them. They are part of who you are, and I love all of you. Plus, you provide some very good blog material. Life would be boring if everyone were perfect!
After 3 years with you, I knew that the way to your heart and to your smiles would be simple: balloons, jelly beans, new shoes and a cupcake. The pure delight is written on your face. Thanks for being you, Ev, flaws and all. Love you.
A favorite. I especially love this in black and white.
Another favorite. This one makes me feel nostalgic.
to one year later…
to two whole years…
to this toothless, talkative, crazy girl. The transformation from 1 to 2 is really amazing.
She needed a break from “taking pictures.” So back to the balloons…
…and a self invented little game with jelly beans.
On to the best part: cupcakes!
This one makes me happy.
I like her shoes in the next few. It reminds me of being a kid, of that sense of care free-ness, that it doesn’t really matter if you get dirty, that a baby doll and a cupcake is really all she needs to be happy.
Sprinkle on the forehead dilemma.
Baby bum. Not really a baby, but my baby.
Happy birthday to my girl.